9 Reasons I Went Back To Church

This month I’m celebrating 9 years as a paid professional blogger. That’s right. I’ve been paid to blog since 2011. Even though I started blogging in 2009, it was just an outlet to express myself. Then September 2011 rolled around and I decided I would make blogging a career option for me. Now here we are 9 years later and I’m still creating content that is authentically transparent. If you have been blessed by my content in anyway over the years, please contribute to my cashapp $VernettaRFreeney Thanks for rocking with me. Your support means so much to me

“Teach me to do Your will [so that I may please You], For You are my God; Let Your good Spirit lead me on level ground.”
Psalm 143:10 AMP

Last week was the official day for me to celebrate my divine 9 year blogaversary. In this week’s post I want to share 9 reasons I went back to church. It makes sense now that I stopped being an event blogger. God has led me to being a Faith Blogger. Over the past 9 years my niche or focus has changed but blogging itself has been the unifier.

This journey began late September, early October 2018. So, it’s been about 2 years since I made the decision to come back to Christ. And I never thought in a million years I would step foot back in a church either. I was done with it all. But over time I learned the difference between religion, church, and relationship. I will do a post in more detail on that as many intertwine them all the time like I once did. Check back next month for a new blog series.

Anyhoo, I thought I knew God and then 2018 happened. I will continue to speak on that year as it was a pivotal, defining moment in my life which changed everything for me. Without that violent jolt to awaken my spirit, I would not be in the healthy state of mind I’m in today. Yes, it was violent in my mind because of how quickly my entire life unraveled. The life I built that others thought was so amazing. As I felt life leaving my body, I realized I needed something, anything to breathe life back into me. And that’s how I was drawn back to church.

So now, I want to share with you the 9 reasons I went back to church.

1 Felt empty
I briefly mentioned it above but I was depleted. Empty. I had given my all to everyone except me. And when I needed help or support I didn’t receive it. Instead I received complaints because people weren’t getting what they wanted from me. I was drained and that led to me lashing out. I was tired and that lead me to being an emotional mess. I needed something to fill me up. Whatever I chose had to be something that was healthy and positive.

2 Searching for something
When your entire world implodes you really have nothing else to do but search for something else to be or do. Not realizing you are who you are. But you won’t know that if you’re not in tune with who God has called you to be. If you read my pivot post then you understand I had been searching for a long time. Just hopping from one thing to the next without much of a plan. I just needed something that made me feel whole. Reconnecting with God has stopped my search and led me to following the path away from the chaos I created and allowed to enter my life.

3 My life was unraveling
I can’t even begin to describe what life looks like when it is unraveling. If you’ve followed me for a long-time then you watched it play out in real-time. It was a horrible train wreck you just couldn’t stop watching and I’m pretty sure much talked about behind my back. That’s okay. I’m neither ashamed nor embarrassed by that. I built a life that was for others to marvel at. God unraveled it so I could live the life He created for me. Now you’re watching me restore the life I was always meant to have. To me, that’s important. You saw me at one of the lowest points of my life and now I’m in a place that 2020 can’t even bring me down. How many people can say that?

4 I knew God existed but never felt Him
I was born and raised in the church. But I never felt God. Or at least I didn’t know if I did. From the outside looking in, my life looked like a dream. But behind closed doors my mom, siblings & I dealt with a dark force who was possessive, controlling and abusive. Yet, made us all act like we were the perfect family in public. Because of that I never thought good or nice things would happen to me. And a lot of horrific experiences have happened to me. I’ve dealt with more than my fair share of trauma. Through all of that I would pray and not much would change. Even working at a church in college, I didn’t feel God talking to or helping me. It was easy for me to leave the church because I didn’t think God was hearing my cries for help. I felt ignored, alone and helpless trudging through life with yet another thing to deal with. Throughout the past 2 years I have felt God. I learned that I was not in a state to hear God because I wasn’t able to remove myself from situations to know what to do to get out of them. From praying, reading the Bible, fasting, and journaling I have been able to hear from God and act immediately. While I see a lot of loss occurring, it’s all things that I should have never had in my life. The letting go, releasing and ridding myself of things that God never intended me to have or go through has led me to having a clearer ear to hear when He does speak to me.

5 Thought going back as an adult it would be different
Growing up in church where nothing was explained and it was just what we needed to believe, made me feel that church was more a chore than anything. I would have rather stayed in bed to be honest. Attending and working at a church in college was more about the need for a job because I was a college student with expenses, and I was good at the work I was given. On the flip side, I learned so much about leadership and ministry that those lessons have come in handy since. But I still didn’t feel I belonged there. That church was a place for me. Maybe being an introvert and not knowing that played a huge part in feeling uncomfortable at church. Now as an adult I have been able to ease my way into church by joining online first, then going to Memphis to visit the church for 3 weeks and eventually co-leading a small group. The hybrid model of online and in-person church for me has helped me see church differently and thus making it easier to go back.

6 Needed answers to life’s questions
Like I mentioned about not feeling God’s presence above and searching for something, I had a lot of questions that I wanted answers to. I never really got answers from church mainly due to the fact I didn’t know what questions to ask. And if questions were asked, I wasn’t led to where in the Bible to study for myself. It was always some cliché piece of advice. Now looking back I wonder if they just weren’t as learned about the Bible to be able to teach it rather than preach it? But at the church were I’m currently a member, Pastor Kia breaks down scripture and that has helped me to understand the Bible as it applies to today and my life. As well as be able to study it on my own and pull things that I can use and understand. Her method of teaching and preaching is one of the key reasons I eventually decided to join The Church at the Well. I have less questions because I understand that a lot of what has happened in my life where choices I made that God never signed off on. Therefore, I can take accountability, repent and pray for guidance prior to making decisions moving forward.

7 Needed to belong to a community
I may be an introvert but that has never stopped me from leading. I naturally take charge because I need things to be organized, efficient and executed well. However, none of the groups from clubs or teams in school to organizations in college to associations as an adult ever made me feel connected to the people in the group. I wasn’t comfortable relaxing or exhaling around them. I always kept my guard up. That in and of itself was exhausting. Even when I went to church prior to my 15-year break, I didn’t feel like I belonged there either. I sort of felt that way in the beginning when I went back to church in 2018. Like I was attending online and everyone in person has this camaraderie that I wasn’t part of that. As time went on, I was able to feel part of the church because I was growing in God. I was becoming more comfortable with myself. What changed everything for me was when I went to visit the church in Memphis and was immediately hugged by the entire leadership team when I walked in. None of them had ever met me in-person before yet they readily embraced me. That alone made me feel part of the community and since that moment I felt more comfortable reaching out to assist the church when they are looking for more help, especially as the entire church moved online. That’s one of the main reasons I asked to lead a small group. I felt embraced and I wanted others seeking, searching or whatever to feel embraced as they too are looking for a community to belong to.

8 I was able to join as an e-member
I’ve lived in Houston since June 2007. Why am I telling you this? Houston has more churches than I could ever count. Yet, I never joined one. Not a one. I did visit a church my sister went to maybe twice. And it was like their Christmas program so not an actual church service. Yet, every time I passed a church, or someone told me about theirs it never enticed me to go back and see what their church had to offer. When Pastor Kia announced she was planting a church in Memphis I was excited for her. We had been Facebook friends for a short while, but I felt she was a genuine person. Then she said she would make all church services available to watch in real-time on Facebook. And people could still join the church even if they didn’t live in Memphis. The first several months I watched the service online. I was able to connect with her preaching style and how the church service flowed. Eventually I joined as an e-member. I didn’t feel pressure joining this way and I believe in the past 2 years I’ve only missed service twice. I faithfully stream every week since she started the church. When churches give people options to still hear the Word and be part without the pressure of being present it allows people to ease back into things.

9 Was Facebook friends with the Pastor
I was first introduced to Pastor Kia through a virtual event held by a former friend of mine. Being myself, I wanted to know more about the speakers. Then I learned she was hosting prayer calls on Periscope. Now I’m NOT a morning person so I would watch the replays when I woke up. Without realizing it God was leading me back to church. Eventually we became friends on Facebook, and I was able to watch her interact and engage from there. I noticed a lot of similarities between the two of us. Maybe that drew me in. Or the fact I was intrigued by how she moved and was unashamed how God was using her. I joke with my bestie that maybe that former friend and I were connected so she could lead me to the person who would eventually become my Pastor. And that in and of itself shows me that God had been with me through it all.

***I left that church in February 2021 and have been following another church since 2023.

Church is not for everyone. Being a Christian is a choice you must make on your own. But on this blog and for myself, I will share my faith journey and proudly proclaim myself a follower of the Jesus who flipped tables, spoke up for the oppressed, gave help to others and sacrificed Himself so I may have eternal life. And you have enteral life too. I won’t be stingy with that, lol. Until God says otherwise, this blog will center around that. Looking for content to stimulate your soul along with some business lessons here and there as well as fighting injustice, this is it.

So now you learned about the faith part that will be the center of this blog. Next week, you’ll learn more about the fighting injustice part.