I don’t remember the exact day but it was in January 2023. It was right before my last semester of ministry school began. I was in my bedroom but I don’t remember what I was doing. I paused because I didn’t know what was happening. In that moment the clearest thing I’ve heard from God in a long time told me I was to leave Houston.
At first I wasn’t sure if I heard correctly. However, I’d had a feeling for quite some time before that experience that I no longer felt that I belonged in any space I was part of previously. Houston was beginning to feel distant to me. I was honestly detached altogether. Yet I kept what I heard to myself. I tend to do that because in the past people didn’t understand when I shared what I heard God tell me. Plus things were not going well in my life. It just seemed like my world was falling apart in every way. Then all of a sudden it felt like God was silent for months. At first I thought maybe I imagined what I heard but the feeling never left.
Sometime in July 2023 I received an email for an interview. I forgot I applied for a higher position with my job. I agreed to the interview and was offered the position. Before I even realized what I was saying, I accepted the position. It was to be part of the reopening of our Chicago location. I just knew in my heart how the door was opened without me doing a thing that was what God was preparing me for since January.
But, Chicago!?!?!?
That’s all I immediately thought. It’s not like that was a city I had in mind to ever move to. Let’s be honest. I’d only visited briefly twice but moving to a place that snows had never crossed my mind. Well, D.C. but I see that city in a different way.
What I didn’t realize when I heard God in January was that He was preparing me to leave Texas. And possibly for good. My heart aches a little. As much as I miss Texas every day, I know I can’t return any time soon. God brought me to the Midwest for a purpose. That purpose I’m still trying to figure out. Maybe I haven’t been sitting still long enough to hear. Whatever the purpose, I’m here. It’s such a weird feeling knowing that everything I built the past 16 years I lived in Houston is just gone. That it was just a launchpad. Not something I can stay attached to.
How do you describe a complete upheaval of your life? I can’t. I’ve been trying for two years to figure out how to put into words the experience I had with God telling me I was leaving the place I called home for 16 years. Recently, there’s been a few people I’ve spoken to that have asked if I would return to my old location. There was an opening for a position.
After talking, praying and seeing what my life is like in Chicagoland I realized that returning to Houston would not be ideal for me. Nor would it help me move forward with God’s plan for my life. I’m getting established here. I’m making a life for myself here which I like & enjoy. Hearing God two years ago sparked fear, excitement and nervousness which has been replaced with uneasiness, peace and frustration at times. Yet, I know I can’t go back. I have to keep moving forward. So hello again Chicagoland. It wasn’t hard to like the area once I was able to get out and experience it.
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