This is a question many people probably ask themselves. Especially those of us who try our best to do right by others. Yet fall so short at times Ehh…..many times. Whenever I have to make a decision I take into consideration everyone I know that will be affected by that decision. It’s exhausting to mull over those thoughts on a regular basis. I just can’t help myself.
Am I too considerate? I was told I was too nice because I take into consideration all of my employees as I work on the teaching schedule. I mean I don’t want anyone in a classroom that feels obligated to be there with a pervasive negative attitude. I try to treat people the way I wish others would treat me. It’s hard at times to keep it together when you just want to slap the piss out of someone’s mouth for talking krazy out the side of their neck. But I know it’s not directed towards me personally but from their perception of me they wish was happening for them. Does it make anyone a good person to lessen who they are to make others feel better about where they are in their lives? Or who they are at that moment?
Lately I’ve begun to have difficult conversations with people to understand my relationship with them. I still have many more to go. Not sure how many I will follow through with. And I’m only having conversations with people I care about. So far the feedback has been I know who I am and where I’m going and that intimidates others. Well, I don’t always know where I’m going but I refuse not to find a way to move forward. Am I a good person because others see that I seem to have it together? This is a question I ponder because I do believe I’m a good person.
But what makes a good person? What exactly defines a good person? If you ask a “devout” Christian we are all horrible people saved by the grace of God. Then it makes one wonder why bother “trying” to be a good person if we’re never going to reach that pinnacle?
This thought vomit I’m writing is more so to help me think about things from a different perspective when it comes to defining what it means to be a good person. I just want to do right by people because that’s what I believe I’m supposed to do. Doesn’t mean I’m trying to be labeled a good person. Seen a certain way. Or even praised. Am I a good person because I don’t seek praise and validation from others? Especially for the things I’ve done that others have not? Or the way I’m able to navigate finding solutions when many others would just walk away?
Do I secretly care if people think I’m a good person? Do I want to have others think of me that way? I do want to do right, treat others with respect, care & consideration as well as support others to the best of my ability. Am I doing all of these things and they won’t benefit me in the end?
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