Have you ever come to a tipping point because you have been everything to everybody? You have been the faithful employee that takes work home. The aunt or uncle that babysits at a moment’s notice. The friend that grabs a cake and balloons to celebrate others – and no one is checking on you.
Toxic loyalty has taken on a new life. It no longer means something to avoid after the expiration date, but rather a way to describe human relationships. We can think back to glimpses of loyalty that just fit perfectly. Lucy and Ethel. Peanut Butter and Jelly. Me and chocolate.
Loyalty is usually praised until it becomes a hard road to walk.
It was thrilling in the beginning. Being depended on. Showing how loyal you are. The praise you received. Then the praise becomes nonexistent. Your loyalty has now become an exhausting expectation.
A new friendship, relationship or job has you shouting with joy to anyone who will listen. It was thrilling when you thought about it. Then the excitement soon faded when you realize no one cares. Not even the people you’re in some type of relationship with. They begin to dismiss your thoughtful actions. They begin to not appreciate what you bring. Or even you, yourself.
Your heart sinks as you trudge through day after day. You finally realized that you stayed past the expiration date. Learning the hard way that not everyone and everything is a lifetime commitment.
Not understanding that or accepting it caused me insurmountable pain. I decided I wasn’t going to be stuck in toxic loyalty anymore. Peace, calm and joy became a priority to implement in my life. So I can be my full, whole, healthy self. Still a work in progress though.
Start by saying NO……Then decide how you want to fill the time you gave to others with ways that will stimulate joy for yourself.
This can change today – remember even a slow crawling baby can reach their destination.
Leave a Reply