As I was thinking what my word for 2018 would be I had to really sit and think for a long time. So many people I follow were already sharing their word. And they had great words too. The past several years, well as long as I’ve been blogging, I’ve had a word for the year. I didn’t write a blog post about last year’s word but it was peace. And through my blog, podcast and social media I’ve shared that journey to peace. Before that my words were simplify and possibilities. I can’t remember what my words were on my previous blog. But you get the point.
Each year is a period of growth for me. And the words have centered on making me a better person. From possibilities to acceptance. Yep, that’s my 2018 word; acceptance.
Acceptance the one thing we all want but the one thing we can’t seem to receive because it’s not the way we want it.
Why would I choose this word if my word last year was such a big deal?
I chose this word after a twitter exchange with one of my blogging friends Tamara of Natural Hair Rules. I told her that the last 2.5 years I’ve kept myself closed off from a lot of people. I was healing and needed the time and space alone. She said it’s okay to let people in when I’m healing. I know it’s an ugly process and that’s probably why I chose to limit who had access to me. It also got me to thinking. I don’t accept anything from anyone. I have always been the person who “saves” others. My last tweet to her in the exchange was I needed to accept love from others. That’s why I chose acceptance as my word of the year.
It has nothing to do with business and everything to do with me. I have found that the more I work on me the better I am at running a business and making more informed decisions. So that’s what I’ve done the last few years. After working to get to a point in my life where everything is peaceful, I love who I am and enjoy the life I’ve created, there’s still one thing that I have yet to get close to getting right. That’s love.
I have not had the best luck in that department. And I’m not talking platonic or friendship love. I do great there. I have a small yet loving and mighty circle who will check me in a minute but love me through a storm.
But what I have not been good at, I mean remotely good at is love in a romantic relationship. I saw something online and it made me really think. It said something to the affect that if you want a successful relationship then you need to work on it like it’s one of your goals. Well I accomplish more than others and progress further and faster because I have tunnel-vision when it comes to my business goals. I have to achieve them. I refuse not to.
But I don’t take that approach with relationships. Or the ones I’m in I don’t “accept” the way the guy is. And I won’t accept just any behavior. That’s not going to happen. But what I need to focus on is acceptance of someone who is compatible with me. Being able to just go with the flow and not force things. That’s really hard for a control-freak who always seem to end up in a leadership role. I have to accept that I can’t drive the relationship. Like I do when I need to correct business decisions that didn’t turn out right.
Since business is headed in the right direction and things are align, I can actually take the time to focus on a relationship and be present. Whether it happens or not will not make or break my life. I will still keep on living. But the acceptance of another person who gets you and supports you is always refreshing. Well that’s what I want to think. Since I’ve never truly had someone accept me for ME.
At this stage on my career path, I do know that having that person’s acceptance of what I do is something I desire. In the past, guys really didn’t care about my “blogging” thing. In fact, they said I shouldn’t really talk about it to them. Like it was a phase or something. I guess because it wasn’t important to them, then it wasn’t something that needed to exist in our relationship. And that hurt. Here I was winning awards, building a reputation and creating a blog association only to have this man tell me he’s not interested in hearing about what I’m doing.
So yea acceptance, for what I do professionally by him and acceptance of how he loves who I am by me, is what I plan to make a priority in 2018.